Sometimes I feel like the world is leaving me behind. When I was super young I used to get so terrified when my family was going somewhere and my mom or dad would start the car while I wasn't in it. I would panic thinking they were going to leave without me and never come back. That anxiousness I felt then is a kin to what I find myself feeling a lot these days. I see so many of my friends going off and doing wonderful things with their lives and what am I doing with mine?
Most good natured people I know would now take this opportunity to list off how awesome I am. That I'm witty and fun and super talented in the art department, not to mention I'm such a lovely lady. It's very kind of them and don't get me wrong, I often think the exact same things about myself (it isn't much of a secret that I have a massive ego). However, sometimes that isn't enough when I feel like my life is stuck in the same monotonous routine day in and day out.
I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who's felt this way.
These past few days I've been feeling particularly self-loathing. Last night I could barely get any sleep thinking about life and how lonely mine is. Naturally it made today kind-of a downer.
Tonight I felt like I just didn't want to sit and watch some show on TV that focuses on the world and doesn't show anything that will ever solve problems or specifically solve any of my problems. So I went to a better source where I found this:
What I love about this clip is that these women share that they are mothers and daughters, wives and friends first. They focus on who they are, not what they've accomplished. The relationships they've cultivated are so much more important than where they've gone and what they're doing. They know they are daughters of God with a divine inheritance and a divine nature. I have always loved the Young Women Theme which states:
WE ARE DAUGHTERS of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him. WE WILL “STAND as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are:
Faith • Divine Nature • Individual Worth • Knowledge • Choice and Accountability • Good Works • Integrity • and Virtue
WE BELIEVE as we come to accept and act upon these values, WE WILL BE PREPARED to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.
That first line has always been so important to me. How significant it is to know that no matter what there is someone out there who knows you and loves you and that even when life is tough and you feel like you're going nowhere someone is there to lend a hand. God lives and loves me, I am His daughter and even if life may be hard and it probably won't get easier for me instantly it's ok because it will someday. Life can only get better from here.
Hey V, even though we're not the best of friends you've always been a bright spot in my life. You have this way of including and accepting others around you and making other people feel special. You are kind and friendly. I can relate with how you feel and I know that it's not pleasant. You are a smart woman and absolutely are loved by your Father in Heaven and by many many people down here as well. Plus, you're a girl that reads and girls that read are the best kind of girls. :-)
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