What's Important to Me

Recently I've been thinking a lot about what's important to me. This may have to do with November being a month where we consider all that we're thankful for and the like. I think it has more to do with the election we held as a country earlier this month. Let me explain:

Many people know I'm politically apathetic. I don't see much of a difference between one candidate and another and I frankly don't see what difference any of them are going to make in my life. There are plenty of people out there who think differently; kudos to you. I actually watched the votes come in on election night for perhaps the first time in my life and I watched it with a lot of politically enthusiastic people. It was sort of an odd experience for me. In any case watching all these excited people made me think how interesting it was that they felt this was so important and I didn't. Then it started to make me think "well, if this isn't important to me, what is?"

I've been thinking over this question ever since and this is what I've come up with:

The Gospel of Jesus Christ/ My Family

I've been trying to decide which of these two things is more important to me and I just can't put one before the other. The Gospel leads me to my family and my family leads me to the Gospel.

The members of my family are the greatest people that I have the privilege of associating myself with. They are hilarious and witty and caring and every addition just adds to how great they are. I spend more time with them than I do with anyone. In fact, while I was in high school I would often ditch my friends to hang out with my sisters or babysit my nephews. I've gained more wisdom and insight from my family than I would ever be able to find on the internet or in school. I love my family and I treasure every minute I have to spend with them. I would do almost anything to insure their happiness.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is what has led to my family being so important to me. As a young man my dad went on a mission for our church to the state of California. The last person he had the privilege of teaching the Gospel to was a 17 year old girl who happened to be my mom. So my family would not have come into being without God's intervention.

The teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the foundation of everything that is important to me. It fills me with so much joy that sometimes I feel like I'm going to burst. It has done nothing but make me happy. Naturally, when something makes you truly happy you want to share it with those around you, this is why I went to serve a mission for the LDS church a few years ago. Those 18 months of my life were the best I have ever experienced and I don't regret a single minute of it.

My Dear Friends

I don't know how good I am at expressing to my friends just how important they are to me. I hope they know that I care about them and their lives as much as I do my own. If ever they are in need I will do whatever I can to make sure their needs are met. Friends are like an extension of my family; I have some friends that I even refer to as "those cousins that I really really like to see." Just like my family, they have helped to shape me into the person that I am now. They have helped me through my hard times and given me an attentive ear when I'm feeling particularly whiny or upset (sometimes for up to 5 hours while in a booth at Denny's). I will always be grateful to be associated with such wonderful people.

Art

This may seem trivial when considered next to the other things I've listed (though I don't suppose I can rightly count my family and friends as "things") but art is deeply important to me. I'm studying illustration in school right now and the more I learn the more important it becomes. I have drawn, doodled, and sketched my entire life. During a brief interlude in high school I was unable to really draw due to some crippling tendinitis. It was among the lowest moments in my life. However, it was around this time that I realized how important art was/is for me. It is my purest mode of communication. It allows me to say the things my mouth stumbles over when I try to speak it. I have kept literally every doodle that has ever adorned a notebook of mine since 8th grade because those pictures are as much of a journal to me as my written ones are. I can look at those pictures and even though they may not depict anything that happened on the day that I drew them I can remember where I was, what was going on around me, who was sitting by me, etc.

This not only encompasses my ability to create art but includes art in all its various forms. Be it a book, a painting, a sculpture, architecture, music....there are too many things to list them all. They are all important to me.

So there you have it. This is what's important to me. It may not be a long list but it has everything I need, anything else falls by the wayside as my life goes on.

Politics?

I wanted to write a post this week about my feelings on politics, since on Tuesday we're going to be pulling together as a nation to decide whether we want to be led by the "Antichrist" or an "Anarchist Capitalist"  for the next four years. However, I've done a number of drafts and I couldn't get out what I wanted to say on the topic without sounding uneducated and angry. So I've given up on the idea. 

I see so many people say the most horrific things about candidates running for various offices. I don't personally think Obama is the Antichrist nor do I feel like Romney is an Anarchist Capitalist (as a side note: I have not actually heard Romney referred to as such but I think the title rightly defines what those who oppose him think about his ideas). I may get some eye rolls for saying this but are these men not children of God? Are they somehow exempt from the respect you show to anyone else in your life?  It takes quite a person to run for office. That's four years of ridicule, contempt, and public scrutiny. Everything they do will be wrong to someone. They'll be called names that should only be reserved for Hitler and various Soviet Russian leaders. And all this because there's a few things in the country that they wanted to work on. Do they not deserve a pat on the back for at least trying?

There is a scripture in 3 Nephi 11:29-30 which reads:

For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.
Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away.

Frankly, all I see in the world of politics is the spirit of contention and I will have none of it. I know too many people who "check their religion at the door" when it comes to politics and it disappoints me. Who you vote for or if you choose to vote is a personal matter. For some people that choice reflects their hopes for themselves and their future and ridiculing or belittling their choice is insulting.

I know I'm far from perfect when it comes to judging and ridiculing others based on their ideals. I try not to but I'm often a miserable failure. I just hope your political views don't get in the way of seeing just what those politicians are: human.

What I Think About Life Currently

This has been a melancholy year for me (thus far anyways, there's still two more months to go and you never know what could happen). It's been full of a lot of frustrations and let downs smattered with a few very sad moments. I've been upset and stressed and more than a little annoyed on a few occasions. This semester especially has been loaded with a lot of adversity.

Sometimes I feel like the world is leaving me behind. When I was super young I used to get so terrified when  my family was going somewhere and my mom or dad would start the car while I wasn't in it. I would panic thinking they were going to leave without me and never come back. That anxiousness I felt then is a kin to what I find myself feeling a lot these days. I see so many of my friends going off and doing wonderful things with their lives and what am I doing with mine?

Most good natured people I know would now take this opportunity to list off how awesome I am. That I'm witty and fun and super talented in the art department, not to mention I'm such a lovely lady. It's very kind of them and don't get me wrong, I often think the exact same things about myself (it isn't much of a secret that I have a massive ego). However, sometimes that isn't enough when I feel like my life is stuck in the same monotonous routine day in and day out.

I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who's felt this way.

These past few days I've been feeling particularly self-loathing. Last night I could barely get any sleep thinking about life and how lonely mine is. Naturally it made today kind-of a downer. 

 

Tonight I felt like I just didn't want to sit and watch some show on TV that focuses on the world and doesn't show anything that will ever solve problems or specifically solve any of my problems. So I went to a better source where I found this:

What I love about this clip is that these women share that they are mothers and daughters, wives and friends first. They focus on who they are, not what they've accomplished. The relationships they've cultivated are so much more important than where they've gone and what they're doing. They know they are daughters of God with a divine inheritance and a divine nature. I have always loved the Young Women Theme which states:

WE ARE DAUGHTERS of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him. WE WILL “STAND as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are:

Faith • Divine Nature • Individual Worth • Knowledge • Choice and Accountability • Good Works • Integrity • and Virtue

WE BELIEVE as we come to accept and act upon these values, WE WILL BE PREPARED to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.

That first line has always been so important to me. How significant it is to know that no matter what there is someone out there who knows you and loves you and that even when life is tough and you feel like you're going nowhere someone is there to lend a hand. God lives and loves me, I am His daughter and even if life may be hard and it probably won't get easier for me instantly it's ok because it will someday. Life can only get better from here.

Fairy Tales

Illustration by the Great Arthur Rackham for the story "The Old Woman in the Woods"
I copied this image for a class assignment last fall, it can be found here (gotta love shameless self promotion).

I love fairy tales. I believe I've mentioned this before. When I was perhaps 4 or 5 my parents got my sister a bike for her Birthday. Shortly thereafter my dad ran over it and destroyed it. My parents were unable to afford replacing my sister's bike and my dad, feeling understandably awful about the turn of events, bought my sister a collection of fairy tales to replace the bike.

I know that to most people a few books is not much of a replacement for a ruined bike (at least monetarily) but those books mean the world to my sister and also to me. My dad read those fairy tales to my sister and I  for years. "Cinderella", "Goldilocks", "Little Red Riding Hood", and that lot were not mentioned in this set of fairy tales. This is where I learned about "The Golden Goose" and "The Story of Caliph Stork." The illustrations were beautiful and the stories were wonderful.

This set of fairy tales was followed by other anthologies of children's stories. Ones where I learned about the "Transparent Apple and Silver Saucer" (a Russian version of "Cinderella" that is much more morbid than the French version we are familiar with) and the "Firebird". I don't think I was properly exposed to the fairy tales Disney taught us about until I was heading into my teen years and discovered Andrew Lang's Rainbow Fairy books.

There are 12 books in his anthology. Each one named after a color...The Red Fairy Book, The Blue Fairy Book, etc. It is perhaps the most complete set of fairy tales out there ranging from Grimm's folk tales to Perrault's fairy tales. Baba Yaga makes a few appearances as does Sigurd, and the Twelve Brothers (a personal favorite of mine). There are too many wonderful stories contained in those volumes to enumerate them all. I still go to the library often and read these fairy tales and admire the beautiful illustrations. It may sound odd but doing so calms me down and makes me happy when I've had a hard day.

It was these influences that filled me with the desire to draw. The stories are so lovely and simple, the illustrations so exquisite in detail, all I want to do is create works like that. This is why I'm studying to be an illustrator. The ability to tell a story visually is stunning to me. It makes me hope that some day a young child will pick up something I've put myself into, that I love and cherish, and that it will inspire them to create a visual story.

I love fairy tales.


From "Rosanella" illustrated by Henry Justice Ford for the Green Fairy Book.

Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo

I absolutely love fairy tales. Seriously, I'm not aware of anyone who's read more fairy tales than I have (I could throw around some story names that you haven't even heard of but it's probably pretentious enough that I'm making such a silly claim as it is).

That being said, I take issue with Disney. Now don't get me wrong, I love Disney movies. They're an essential part of childhood (and adulthood if you're me). My issues lie with the Disney Corporation.

I dislike the how they revamp their princesses every few years to be more modern. They were beautiful when they were created, can't you just leave them that way? I also get super upset when I see a greeting card designed for six year old girls with an array of princesses on it twirling around in golden dresses making shallow comments on looking pretty for the ball. What the hell Disney? When you made those princesses they had different personalities and things they cared about! It's not ok to just conglomerate them into one mass ego with seven different smiling faces.

Anyways....what super gets under my skin is the iron grip Disney keeps on all its films. Every ten years or so they re-release an old classic saying it's "better than ever" (because the original totally needed to be improved upon) and then charge $30 for it.

This brings me to my point. This month Disney has once again re-released their beautiful classic "Cinderella" (as a side note: if you want to read a really excellent rendition of this fairy tale go find a story called "Donkeyskin." It's marvelous.) Naturally, it's been remastered.

Here is the scene where Cinderella's fairy godmother sings a song and what not:

Now here's the trailer Disney put out to promote their re-release:

Am I the only one who's noticed that the voices have been changed??

WHAT THE HELL DISNEY?? You change her looks to keep her modern, you dumb her down to sell her to children, now you gotta change her voice? This is super annoying guys!

Now, I understand this is only a trailer and maybe the whole movie hasn't been changed but still. It's ridiculous.

I'm very disappointed with you Disney. Very disappointed.

Walt would be turning in his grave.

The Artist

The artist should not only paint what he sees before him, but also what he sees in himself. If, however, he sees nothing within him, then he should also refrain from painting what he sees before him. Otherwise his pictures will be like those folding screens behind which one expects to find only the sick or the dead.

The man who said this is amazing. His more poetic way of saying "if you don't have anything to say keep your mouth shut" may be part of the reason why I've come to idolize him in less than 24 hours (less than 12 hours to be completely honest). Also he created this:

 

Amazing right?

Thank you History of Illustration for introducing me to the fine work of this man.

I should probably mention his name: Caspar David Friedrich.

Speaking of artists I've recently become obsessed with; how is it that more people don't know who John Bauer is?

This man was a huge influence on Jim Henson. As is evidenced here:


This image was created by John Bauer in 1915 for the Swedish collection of fairy tales "Bland Tomtar och Troll."



This image comes from Jim Henson's "The Dark Crystal."

Granted, I consider the Dark Crystal to be one super weird movie but can you not see the family resemblance?

In any case, John Bauer's work is absolutely stunning and really shouldn't be overlooked. I'm sure I'll probably have a few more posts concerning him. Especially since my History of Illustration semester long project is based on his work.

As a final piece of imagery:

come and be welcome!

I've mulled over the idea of starting a blog for quite some time now. The main things that have stopped me from doing so in the past is the fact that I don't read anyone else's blog (this includes close friends and family. It doesn't mean I don't love you, it just means I'm lazy and the internet hurts my eyes) therefore why would I expect anyone to read mine. Also, although I think everything I have to say is interesting and witty, I don't expect everyone else to think everything I have to say is interesting and witty.

Anyhow, all that being said, I decided to create this blog the same way I decide to do everything involving creation: on a whim.

I don't expect people to read what I have to say, I just need a place to say it.

...Naturally, the place I decide to say it is in front of a virtual audience of strangers (with maybe a smattering of people who may actually know me).

In any case, welcome to my digital home! Please enjoy your stay.